The sex ain't worth the cost


That picture above is from the wedding album of a Taiwanese financier who married a Taipei-based fashion blogger. They got married on the island of Capri, and apparently their wedding cost many, many millions of dollars.

And that is about as kind as I can be about all of this, because the article that covers this marriage is appalling to read if you have any sense of socio-sexual dynamics:

You may have attended a few lavish weddings this summer, but none that will top the multi-million pound nuptials of financier Lincoln Li and his fashion blogger bride Feiping Chang.

The couple wed in a three-day extravaganza in Capri last month, estimated to have cost millions, but full details of the achingly chic celebrations have just emerged thanks to Hong Kong Tatler.

Former investment banker Fei, as she's known to friends, wafted down the aisle in a custom-made tiered gown by Giambattista Valli, the biggest the designer has ever made. [In my experience, women who either are or used to be investment bankers tend to be somewhat... difficult at times. Not a good sign.]

'For as long as I can remember, I always knew when the day came I would want Giamba to make my dress, because he really makes very dreamlike creations that are just above and beyond,' Fei told Tatler. 'The final dress definitely exceeded my wildest expectations, it was the biggest dress they’ve ever made.' 

In another first, the couple wed at the cliff top Villa Lysis - where the government granted permission for a wedding to take place for the first time after the couple agreed to refurbish it. 

The pair even went as far as building a bridge to link the grounds of the villa to the rooftop where they exchanged vows, and as guests walked up the hill to the villa the couple had changed the name of some of the street and restaurant signs to their 'Fei Lincoln' to surprise them.

Ye Thundercats.

So. Much. Beta.

So. Much. FAIL.

Look, I come from a culture where extravagant, over-the-top weddings are actually considered fairly normal and parents sometimes bankrupt themselves to put on lavish events for the marriages of their children. Such events typically involve insane amounts of planning and attention to detail and months of extensive preparation- because the guest list numbers into the hundreds if not thousands.

(Yes, you read that right. Westerners tend to get a little pale- well, paler- when I tell them how big Asian weddings can be.)

Personally, I find such nonsense to be appallingly silly. But then, I'm not really a native of my home country anymore, if I ever was.

And yet, even the most bonkers weddings that I've seen from back in the old country are still nowhere near as crazy as this.

It is a basic human truth that the cost of a wedding is usually inversely proportional to the duration of the marriage. And this particular marriage, between an attention- and status-seeking woman and a wealthy man who could easily have any woman that he wanted without running the risk of divorce-rape, is probably going to prove to be a very expensive mistake.

Most such really expensive weddings tend to go this way. My family saw an example of this rule when the sole surviving child of close friends of ours got married several years ago. Because of pressure from the groom's family, the girl in question got married in a truly extravagant wedding which lasted, I think, about 8 months- and there had been issues between her and the groom for a long time before that too. 

The exceptions to this rule tend to be found in Asian and Middle Eastern communities, where arranged marriages are still very much the norm and the unions involve entire families, rather than just the bridge and groom*. 

Now, to play the Devil's Advocate here, it is possible that the groom there has the game and the frame required to keep the rampant materialism of his now-wife in check. One does not become a multi-millionaire Asian financier by being a spineless Omega. And if he maintains frame and makes it clear that he needs his wife far less than she needs him, then he stands a decent chance of making it all work out in the end. 

And that is when, as said Advocate, I look at the picture up above, taken from the article. And I know that this is a forlorn hope indeed. 

That is not the image of a strong and steady Alpha male who knows that his marriage is going to be low-drama, long-lasting, faithful, and fruitful in terms of progeny. That is not the image of a man with options and a mindset of abundance. 

That is the image of a man who is overjoyed to have found a beautiful woman who will marry him and thinks that he cannot do better. 

Indeed, one hopes that his wife is dynamite in bed- the costs of the wedding alone indicate that if she isn't, then the marriage is already "in the red" from a man's point of view. 

Or, as our fellow shitlord Terrence Popp likes to say,"The f***ing you get, is not worth the f***ing you're GONNA get!!!"

Look, despite my asshole personality and my almost complete inability to give any shit for people's FEELZ, I actually dislike crapping on other men's decisions to get married. I have some idea of the kinds of sacrifices that a man makes when he chooses a wife, gets married, and "settles down". I, personally, am very much looking forward to taking my own turn at being a husband and a father- despite the enormous risks associated with both.

Yet the truth is what it is, and the moment you start seeing the world through the focused lenses of the truth instead of the distortions of the lies that society teaches us, you cannot ignore the conclusions that it leads you toward.

In all of the successful marriages that I have seen, the women involved are not obsessed with the cost of the marriage or with insanely expensive wedding dresses. They are instead more interested in bringing together the people who matter the most to them and their significant others, so that they can publicly acknowledge the importance of the covenant that they have entered into.

This particular marriage, and marriages like it, does not appear to fall into that category. Instead, it falls into the category of marriages that are all about displays of wealth, ostentation, and what can be done when an excess of cash meets a shortage of good sense.

Based on what I'm seeing right now, I'd give this marriage a total of... let's see, carry the two, drop the one...

Three years.

I'd love to be proven wrong, I really would. And I don't say that too often. But in this case, I rather doubt that I will be.

As several Western Manosphere writers (including me) have pointed out, those same cultures also tend to be seriously messed up in terms of socio-sexual dynamics. Blackdragon refers to it as "titanic sexual dysfunction", and based on what I've seen from my travels throughout that part of the world, I think he's got a point.

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